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InterAksyon.com
The online news portal of TV5
EVERYONE thought their relationship wouldn’t last.
There was the unplanned pregnancy, enmity between parents and the prospective son-in-law/daughter-in-law, screaming fits, doors slammed preceded by departures in a huff, even threatened separations.
But almost 27 years after, Talk ‘N Text coach Chot Reyes and professional hairstylist, the former Cherry Tiosejo, are still together, the passion for each other still burning. (Officially, they are 30 years going strong).
They both met while still in high school – Chot at the Ateneo, and Cherry at Miriam. “’Yung klase nila sa Miriam, ang tagal pumipila sa klase namin sa soiree. Mauutak, sporty na mga cute, pinipilahan kami talaga, six months ang waiting list!” Chot playfully boasts.
But it was in college at the Ateneo that Chot actually made his move. “It was freshman orientation. Binakuran na ako,” Cherry retorts, equally in jest.
“May girlfriend ako nun,” Chot protests, “so di ako tumitingin sa iba.” Cherry counters, “pero hiningi mo number ko!”
One can’t help but laugh out loud when watching these two discuss their relationship. There is an easy bantering, a kind of cariño or affection for each other that is reminiscent of how best friends behave, or, in this case, a pair of well-seasoned lovers. Both have a healthy sense of humor that has helped them overcome many of their relationship’s challenges.
Individually, they are both accomplished and well respected in their fields.
Chot, a professional coach for almost 20 years, is fresh from his victory in the PBA’s All-Filipino conference—his fifth—just one trophy short of Coach Baby Dalupan’s record six. He also owns Coachcom.inc, an executive coaching firm for professional managers and business executives.
Cherry is managing and creative director of Essensuals Toni&Guy, and as a hairstylist, counts among her clients a number of celebrities and VIPs, including President Noynoy Aquino.
“I think that’s one of the secrets of a lasting relationship. We continue to grow as individuals. Our learning continues. She continues to do her thing, improving her skills, going to London [for her training]. Same with me in my executive development,” explains Chot.
Looking back, however, it seemed the odds were against their coupling.
Just five months into their relationship while both studying at the Ateneo, Cherry got pregnant. But both decided they couldn’t get married just yet, until Chot graduated. “Can you imagine the dilemma of my parents when I announced that I was pregnant but we weren’t getting married? Sobrang iyak ng mommy ko,” recalls Cherry, who describes herself as having led a sheltered life. She was also the youngest among siblings.
Chot’s parents weren’t equally thrilled as well. After all, he was the eldest in their brood, and being male at that, there was also a lot riding on his future. At that time he was playing for the Ateneo Blue Eagles on a college scholarship.
“To support them (Cherry and then baby Joshua), I had to take a part-time job,” Chot continues. “I worked at the Ministry of Transportation from 8 am to 12 noon. Then papasok ako [sa school] from 1 to 4 pm, wala akong kotse ha. Then from 4 to 6 pm, I’d coach the high-school team. Then 6-8 pm, I had to play for the college team for my scholarship. For two years ’yun ang buhay ko. So I was exposed to hard work very very early.”
He proudly says he was able to graduate on schedule with a Bachelor of Arts degress in Interdisciplinary Studies, then went on to work full time at the transportation ministry.
Cherry meanwhile, learned to cut hair while on leave from the Ateneo due to her pregnancy, and grew to love the trade.
They finally got married in 1985, much to the relief of their respective families and friends. Chot says, “I promised her we’d get married after I graduated. And we spent for our own wedding [and reception]. Ang mahal P30,000!”
Still, there were more trials to come, as they adjusted to their new life as a married couple. Chot recalls, “There were a lot of big fights early on,” which Cherry says were mostly about money. “Mainit ulo mo kasi wala kang pera,” she explains. Then there were also Chot’s bevy of ahem, female fans. “Selosa ako,” Cherry admits.
Somehow the two always managed to patch things up, and despite the bumps in the road, they stuck it out with each other. “There were many who said we wouldn’t last, being in an early marriage and all. I guess we wanted to prove them wrong,” Cherry relates.
The other children—Moses, Isaiah, Rebekah–soon followed. From raising each other as husband and wife, they were soon nurturing their growing brood. Cherry says she is the daily disciplinarian in the family, “but if it’s a major disciplinary problem, it’s Chot who handles it.”
Of course, despite the 27 years behind them, both say they still continue to work at their marriage.
“I think it’s also important that you’re best friends,” stresses Chot. “And you should continue going out as a couple. Kami, palagi kaming lumalabas. Just go out at night, we go to dinner, we go on out of town trips without children. Di naman planned…I just make it a point when I fetch her from her Makati salon, I take her out to dinner, we’ll have wine…”
In Cherry’s case, “I look forward to going home and being with him. Kinikilig pa din ako when he picks me up from work. Magkwe-kwentuhan kami.”
Both add that basketball also plays a part in strengthening their ties: “It’s a common activity [that bonds us],” acknowledges Chot. “Masaya kami when we’re champions,” says Cherry. “’Pag matalo, malungkot, malungkot together,” Chot says, finishing the thought.
He stresses that by no means is their marriage perfect, but both have learned to live and tolerate each other’s quirks or insecurities. There is a time, for instance, to just keep quiet and let the other spouse vent their anger. Or perhaps sleep it off, so cooler heads can tackle the issue the next day. “I believe kasi the best way to teach your kids about God and about love is to show them how you love your spouse. ‘Yung iba grabe magdasal, tapos grabe mang-bastos. [sa asawa]. I don’t smoke, I don’t gamble, I just play golf. I don’t have a boy’s night out,” Chot shares. “I think our marriage is strong; we can overcome a lot of crisis,” he says with confidence.
In December 2010, they celebrated their 25th anniversary in a big party with close family and friends at Discovery Shores in Boracay. It was certainly a milestone for them, considering that many couples who get married early aren’t lucky to even last half as long.
Asked about the secret to their lasting marriage, Cherry says half-jokingly, “Magaling ako magbantay, man-to-man guarding.” Chot counters, deadpan, “Mabait talaga akong asawa.” Both erupt in laughter. It’s never a dull moment with these two.
