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In a decision that had the unexpectedness of a Pacquiao punch, two of three judges awarded the bout to Timothy “Desert Storm” Bradley.
1. You are furious.
1.1. You have every reason to be furious.
Boxing experts are unanimous in pointing out that Pacquiao was in control throughout the 12 rounds. He landed twice as many punches. Bradley fought as well as he could, but he was clearly outclassed.
1.2. So let it all out. Vent before you melt into a puddle of rage.
1.2.1. !@#$%^&*() Are you ****ing blind?? Pacquiao beat him like a g*d*m* drum! Were you m****rf***ing idiots watching the replay of the basketball?
1.2.2. Are you drunk or high or were you born this stupid?! Were you distracted by all the movie stars in the audience, you ***king star****er?
1.2.3. Don’t ever set foot in this country because I am going to kill you!!! I better not run into you anywhere or I am going to beat you so hard you’ll wish you were that picture in Chavit Singson’s wallet! (Note: See Andrew Corsello’s excellent profile of Manny Pacquiao in the April 2010 issue of GQ.)
1.2.4. If you are too exhausted by anger, just read all the sports columns. Death by adjective!
2. You are suspicious.
2.1. “Those two judges must be in league with Floyd Mayweather!”
2.1.1. Floyd Mayweather is a coward and a bully who won’t face Manny Pacquiao in the ring because he’d rather beat up women.
2.1.2. With this loss, that Pacquiao-Mayweather match to determine which one is THE best pound-for-pound fighter in the world seems less likely to happen. But don’t discount the power of money! That’s M-O-N-E-Y.
2.2. Is this the boxing world’s way of making up for that disputed decision in the Pacquiao-Marquez fight last year?
2.2.1. Many believe Marquez won that bout. In any case, Marquez is the one boxer who has consistently threatened Pacquiao’s dominance of the sport.
2.2.2. It’s a way of rectifying error. Like the Oscars denying Martin Scorsese for Raging Bull, and then giving him the award two decades later for The Departed. (Okay, this is a stretch, but at least there’s a boxing connection.)
3. You need someone to blame.
3.1. I knew it! Pacquiao should never have gone into politics!
3.1.1. He should’ve focused on boxing instead of mouthing off about issues he is clearly not informed about.
3.1.2. Yes, the people love him, but there are ways to express love besides putting him in this position.
3.2. I knew it! Pacquiao should never have gone into show business.
3.2.1. Have any of his movies actually made their costs back?
3.2.2. You can’t deprive the man of his endorsements. He’s got a family who shops a lot and a huge entourage to support.
3.3. It’s this religion jag he’s been on.
3.3.1. No, he did not quote Leviticus. He hasn’t read Leviticus. It’s never a good idea to cite Leviticus—you eat one shrimp and you’re already in violation.
3.3.2. This loss is not a punishment for speaking against gay marriage, for homophobia, for cheating on Jinky, or for unleashing Dionisia on the media. Because…he didn’t lose! (Go back to top)
3.3.3. So among believers this split decision would be viewed as a test of faith, right? Or is it divine punishment for adultery, etc?
4. You smell racism!
4.1. Manny Pacquiao is the emblem of Filipino pride, and therefore the split decision is a blow to our national spirit.
4.1.1. Pacquiao is a brilliant fighter who happens to be Filipino, and he graciously shares his triumphs with the entire Filipino nation. But it is his own talent, courage and will that has propelled him to these heights, not some “Pinoy” gene that imbues him with special powers.
220.127.116.11. You may have worked with him, sung with him, sparred with him, cheered him on and fought quarrels on his behalf, but when Manny Pacquiao gets into the ring, he is alone.
18.104.22.168. We are merely fans. We only bask in the glow of his victories. We have no actual contribution to his greatness. Unless of course you’re responsible for the crushing poverty that caused him to take up boxing in the first place.
22.214.171.124. By the same token, your life does not go to pieces because Pacquiao lost a fight. If your Filipino pride is obliterated by one split decision, it wasn’t much to begin with, was it?
4.2. By the way, you’ve seen those 50% Filipino, 50% Other ads for a clothing brand? They’re racist.
4.2.1. If it were just the pictures of the models with the 50% tagline, we could let it go. But they had to print that manifesto which, apart from its atrocious grammar and the fact that it makes procreation appear as casual as mixing plaid with polka dots, is amazingly ignorant of genetics.
4.2.2. The ad claims that “having Filipino blood…is almost a sure formula for someone world class.”
126.96.36.199. Of course you might think this; many of us were raised by ignorant yayas who threatened us with “Hala, kakainin ka ng Intsik/Bumbay/Hapon/etc.” But you can overcome your upbringing. You don’t splash your ignorance on billboards and newspapers, you racist dumbass.
188.8.131.52. “Then why did we support Jessica Sanchez in American Idol?” Because she’s an excellent singer who happens to be of Filipino descent. But if you said, “Magaling siya kasi Pinoy siya,” you’re racist. FYI She’s an American of Filipino descent. Deal with it.
184.108.40.206. There is no Pinoy gene you can isolate to prove Pinoy-ness. Nor is there an American gene, a Zimbabwean gene or any “national” gene. There is no significant difference in genetic material among ethnicities. What you see are specific traits—brown skin, black hair, short stature, etc—that are not connected to a “Pinoy” gene, but to your ancestors. Who happen to have been born and raised in the area designated as the Philippines. Try to wrap your limited faculties around the concept.
4.3. There is no superior race, Herr Mengele, let’s not start that again. But there are supremely talented individuals like Manny Pacquiao. Focus, Pacman, you still have to kick Mayweather’s ass.