TEODORO L. LOCSIN JR.| Saving Christmas
The online news portal of TV5
It was a perfect set up. Sonya Yu, a fetching Chinese-American, fed up with the burglaries in her neighborhood, set out to catch the thief. She lured him with a package and tweeted her pals about the trap she had laid.
The burglar bit the bait. He broke in and she sprayed him with bear spray that can knock out a bear. She tweeted this immediately. Then she whipped out a Japanese wooden sword or kendo stick. She tweeted this too. She was doing all this with one hand tweeting with the other. He staggered out of the house screaming in agony as he clutched his burning eyeballs, his head and shoulders whipped with her kendo stick. She tweeted this too.
She had called the cops so he ran into them. She tweeted this too. She also tweeted that she had effected a citizens’ arrest even if he was already in police custody. She computed how much the burglar, Andy Anduha, had taken from the neighborhood: a grand total of $1,000.
She did not tweet what it could cost him to cure his blindness nor that the cops were in stitches over her array of weaponry. But she explained that the blowback from bear spray stung her face too. Then she tweeted that that was all the tweeting she would do about the case because it was an active police investigation. But she explained she was never in danger because the guy had only a box cutter. Apparently, before he stole delivered packages, he opened to see if they were worth stealing.
The neighborhood was divided in its reaction between gratitude and shock at her methods. I will go with gratitude. And of course you know why she kept tweeting. She was building a defense against the use of excessive force if the burglar sued her. Smart chick.