COWARD'S INBOX: Tips for managing a weird, toxic boss

By: Rey Elbo
April 24, 2012 2:40 PM

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I’ve been working as a powerless rank-and-file employee for this small company for close to 15 years now. When my boss retired three months ago, I was assigned to work under a new, externally-recruited manager who has been acting weird since day one. My question is this – how do I handle a toxic boss like him? – Lost Sheep.

My short answer is this: When a boss tells a joke and the people around him are laughing to death, it doesn’t prove that they have a sense of humor. It only proves that they have common sense. Now, here’s my long answer to your question.

As an ordinary worker, your primary focus is on efficiently and effectively managing the expectations of your boss. Yet one fundamental ingredient for your success that may get overlooked is the need to “manage up.” If you can’t successfully “manage up,” then doing a good job will just leave you wondering why you can’t seem to understand why your boss is “acting weird.”

In the first place, what do you mean by “acting weird?” Unless you explain this to me in clear terms or you can show me a medical certificate issued by a competent doctor of a mental institution, then I will have to momentarily ignore it.

That’s one important thing. Many people tend to forget that dealing with the boss’s individual personality quirk is critical to the future of their career. More than this, getting your new boss to appreciate your efforts is not something that you can do overnight. This becomes doubly difficult if you think you’re “powerless” and helpless.

Take it from Henry Ford who said, “If you think you cannot, then you are right.” I mean -- first things first -- if you don’t believe in yourself, then who else will? If you know what I mean and you’re ready to improve your self-image, then here are some tactics that you can use to manage your boss:

Know clearly the expectations of your boss outside of your job description. How do you define the work-related tendencies of your boss? Is he detail-oriented and wants to be informed of your step-by-step process in everything you do? Or is he one who would be just satisfied with the results? Therefore, make a conscious effort to do things in terms of the boss’s own style rather than battling over different means.
Don’t make petty comparisons with your boss’s predecessor and other managers. Each and every individual has their style of doing things. If your boss is a micro-manager, don’t create resentment over this. Even if you dislike this management style, keep it to yourself. Who knows? Perhaps the boss is a perfectionist. But it is not your job to question it.
Avoid being argumentative. Even if you think that you’re right and powerless to do what you want, just explain yourself to your boss whenever he finds fault about the result of your work or its process. Instead, say something like, “I understand what you’re saying and I will attempt to change.” Then go ahead and explain yourself. More often, your boss will be relieved when you don’t react negatively to his comment.
Make your boss look good in front of other people. If you do this, you’ll look good in the eyes of your boss. Allow the boss to take credit for your accomplishments. You may feel cheated but the boss will not look at it that way. If they're a good boss, they will always acknowledge your efforts because they know that they can get more of those from you. After all, it’s your immediate manager who controls your career destiny in the organization.
Try to predict your boss’s reaction to your performance. Seeing it from their perspective will help you make a good job that’s consistent with the boss’s expectations. Go the extra mile in covering every detail. You may discover some clues on ways you can adjust your actions.
In everything that you do, don’t be too quick to jump on judging your boss, since appearances aren’t always what they seem to be.

Challenge?

This blog is for non-management people who can’t raise an issue directly against one’s boss for fear of reprisal. If you’re part of management who has an opposing or supporting view, then send us your feedback by citing your own experience or a published material by a management expert. Send feedback or questions to elbonomics@gmail.com

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