Viral tweet presents refreshing alternative to ‘ghosting’ in relationships

April 18, 2019 - 11:33 AM
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Ghosting in relationships
"Ghosting" is a dating term that refers to someone suddenly "cutting off all communication (with you), without any explanation." (Artwork by Uela Altar-Badayos)
FROM AROUND THE WEB

A viral Twitter post that features a screenshot of a girl being upfront to someone she was not interested in seeing anymore was welcomed as an alternative means to “ghosting.”

The origin of the screenshot is unclear, although one of the platforms where it appeared on was Reddit, a community discussion website.

A Twitter user uploaded the screenshot on his own account and shared the caption from Reddit: “Honesty is always better than ghosting. We all need more of this!”

The screenshot featured someone receiving a message from a girl named “Rachel,” whose candid reply was very much appreciated by the individual she was dating that time.

Social media users praised Rachel’s reply since she was honest about the traits she apparently disliked in him, instead of suddenly cutting off communication.

“At least she told you what was wrong with you. I usually just get the first message or ‘I don’t think we’re looking for the same thing’ or some s*it,” a certain Reddit user wrote.

Another user shared that the conversation “should have stopped” after the individual wished her well.

The culture of ‘ghosting’ 

“Ghosting” is a dating term that refers to someone suddenly “cutting off all communication (with you), without any explanation,” according to Maya Borgueta, a clinical psychologist.

It is when someone who you’re seeing does not return your calls, texts and chats in an indefinite amount of time.

Borgueta described it as someone “receiving the ultimate silent treatment after several dates, or when you’re in a committed relationship.”

Ghosting is “receiving the ultimate silent treatment after several dates, or when you’re in a committed relationship.” (File photo)

While the term might have been recent, it was most likely practiced long before it has gained a name in the dating sphere, particularly online.

This is indicated in a study conducted in the 1970s that focused on people’s preferred relationship ending strategies.

The study discovered that some people used “avoidance” as a means to end a relationship, particularly adolescents.

“Avoidance” is another term associated with “ghosting,” which was described by a licensed social worker as the manner of “conflict avoidance” or when someone intentionally avoids confrontations and other means of communication in relationships.

“I see people who are conflict avoidant and don’t want to deal with uncomfortable feelings, and they rationalize it as ghosting being easier/less hurtful than communicating directly,” dating and relationship expert Anita Chlipala explained in an interview.

Unfortunately, “ghosting” has “worse effects on people” rather than confrontation or direct communication, according to Chlipala.

“The unknown and lack of closure causes more anxiety. The clients I work with overanalyze everything, which can then affect their confidence,” she shared. — Artwork by Interaksyon/Uela Altar-Badayos